I Got That Power

I have been designing my business website these few months, upgrading it from the previous website created using web designer to WordPress, where my business website now has not only web pages but also my business blog included together in one platform. Putting my Computer Science/Information Technology knowledge to use.

 

I still have it and can design a website, I’m glad to say. I don’t deny that I had some support from the tech team of my current web hosting eventhough sometimes they don’t give me a solution to the problem and I find it out myself through trial and error. It’s much easier to design a website now compared to the olden days (like more than 10 years ago) because back then you need to know C language, C++, Visual Basic and the sorts. Now you can easily search in Google for the html code and there are always the drag and drop features available in web designer softwares.

 

This website is also designed by myself, so I was handling the design of 2 websites, which I used WordPress to create. It took me a few hours to get this WordPress website up but for my business website, I took months to create the new website. I realise that the more important it is, the longer I take because I want to ensure that everything is presentable. It’s not that my personal website is not important, it’s just that it’s a place for me to express myself and perhaps look into growing it later but for now, it’s my business first.

 

Talking about Computer Science/IT, it wasn’t my chosen choice of study back then, it was my father’s. IT was beginning to be a growing industry back then and instead of putting me through A-Levels while I decide on my course of study, he thought that it would be better to just enroll me into a Diploma in Information Technology in a private college. I later upgraded and changed college so that I graduated with a Diploma in Computer Science/Information Technology instead. It was a study in both Computer Science and Information Technology instead of just IT. Best move I could have ever made back then because it was then that I discovered my love for studying.

 

Back in high school, I didn’t like studying, to be honest. I preferred extra-curricular activities and physical education. Not those type of “physical education” and “extra-curricular activities“. I was in a convent school, so it was not a co-ed school, though there are some lesbian activities and “extra-curricular activites” after school but let’s not talk about those now. I liked sports and the artistic curriculum like Rangers, dancing, aerobics and all. I didn’t like homework and sometimes I don’t do them. When you come out to the real world, as though history lessons are going to save your life when you’re trying to make ends meet in a month or knowing what C2O2H4 is, will do anything when you have a flat tyre in the middle of the road with no access to phone. It doesn’t help that our high school lessons are taught in Malay (except for English lesson) and our history lessons didn’t even cover much of world history. I think I learn more by watching 20 minutes of life hack lessons or documentaries online nowadays as compared to my whole 5 years in high school. When you’re forced to take stupid lessons that you’re just not interested in, it’s a waste of time.

 

 

My love for studying came during my Diploma in Computer Science/Information Technology, as I was saying. I developed the discipline to do my homework after classes. Before classes, I would wake up early in the morning to a light breakfast with TV, exercise, then another round of full breakfast before I go for my classes. Coding actually brought out the creative side where you can actually use your creativity to code and come up with a program the way you want to. The perfectionist side of me will arrange the code in very neat and uniform way, although at the end of the day, the codes won’t be viewed by the user. The user will only see the program but the one marking the code will be able to see the code and the program. There will always be the perfectionist side in me. This is actually a good thing for my customers because if I expect perfection in my things, they would be receiving a good service or product. It is hard and time consuming to achieve perfection to be honest, which I have learnt throughout time but it’s not harm to try and achieve it IF situation allows.

 

After graduating from my diploma, I was supposed to go to Australia to continue my studies. I got acceptance letters from different Australian universities but I just didn’t. Somehow, the course wasn’t what I wanted to do. I didn’t know about Mass Communications back then but it was something I would have been right for and have the interest in back then. Now, I wouldn’t be suited for that because I have the hard side of me which I already trained myself to be. So, my Mummy encouraged me to take law and I kind of bought the idea. With me knowing that I have developed the love for studying, I knew I could take on the challenge to study law. Law brings out the logical side in me. Too long being in the legal field drained my creative side and I became so hardened. I need a balance of both creative and logic. My Dad doubted me and asked if I’m sure I can do that. I can and it was through sweat and tears that I graduated with my LLB (Hons.) which is a degree in law. He wanted me to carry on after that and take my Bar (not the alcoholic kind of drinking bar but the English Bar, which is a prestigious certification for lawyers going to court). I told him I wanted to take my time off to work because I was just tired of being away from home and I was tired of studying so hard. I was studying in Newcastle-upon-Tyne back then. Situation was, he was going to retire and while he still had the finances, he said why don’t I finish off my Bar. Reluctantly, I carried on the next year. Besides, I got accepted into the qualification round of taking Bar. It wasn’t an easy process as not everyone gets selected to take the Bar – you have to answer a lot of questions in the many pages in the form and you have to pay to submit your entry. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass my Bar. I am thankful for the opportunity to study and take the Bar as I experienced the prestigious side of life and met many over-achievers in life like Queen’s Counsels. I even had the opportunity to meet the Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen of England during one of our education weekend trips to stay at the castle-like country house near to Windsor Castle but I didn’t take this opportunity as I didn’t attend the Sunday church mass when she came.

 

Mummy and Daddy, if you ever have the chance to read this post, please do not force me to do anything I don’t want. Looking back, I realised that if it’s a path that I choose for myself and I know I want it, I will be able to pull through and strive to achieve it, no matter what. However, if it’s not something that I want to do, I will be sufferingly dragging myself through it and it somehow ends up with me failing to achieve it. Thank you for the opportunities and for giving me the luxury of being able to study in private education especially overseas. I am grown up now. Just let me choose my own path in life. Many a times I know what I needed to do to move on to the next chapter in my life but many a times, you all had your own thoughts and actions for me. I have followed your instructions back then and I know it’s your money to spend for my education and life back then. It’s not always right, though and do listen to my reason why I choose to do what I need to do. Back then, I didn’t know how to reason and tell you why I would need to do something a certain way. We were taught not to speak up or even open our mouth (this was the way kids back in Gen-Y and those before that were brought up), unlike the irritating, stupid kids nowadays making noises and their stupid parents don’t shut them up. Nowadays, I don’t like children.

 

Let me give you an example of what would have been better for my studying years. I wanted to begin my Diploma in Law in Kuala Lumpur (KL) and take a twinning program to further my studies to Australia. The reason for this is so that I can get used to staying away from home and taking care of myself while I stay on my own. It would have been easier to try this out in KL, where I’m so near to my home in Penang and I can easily call for help with relatives in KL or always go back home to Penang. Then, once I adapted to staying on my own, I would have easily go on to stay on my own overseas. Your reason, Daddy, for me to take a twinning program instead in Penang and then to England, is so that you can save money on accommodation in KL. British pounds were rising and rose to the highest of all time back in 2005 to RM6+ for each GBP1, which so happened to be one of my years there. AUD were just at most RM4 for each AUD1 back then. Aside from financial calculations, it was also the emotional well-being part which you didn’t consider. As much as we were brought up to have no feelings, we are still human and have feelings. Having not been separated from my family at all and always having the pleasure of my family members surrounding me all my life (which was something I was really happy about last time) before I left to England, I was soooo homesick and probably nearing depression when I went to England. I remember binge eating all the time in my own room even after proper meals and just watching TV or sleeping all the time when I do not need to go for classes or meet up with friends. Sure, life was exciting with so many eye-opening experiences, new culture, new friends and it was a bright road ahead for me but being on my own for the first time without my family then, it was hard.

 

There was culture-shock, no denying but I got used to it in the end. If time can be turned back, I would change many things and I would especially change the people/partner in my life back then. I would choose and live my life differently. Unfortunately, we can’t go back in time. Even if we can, if we change history, there might be implications in life, which we always see in movies (don’t know how true are those movies). I know that there were many opportunities I could have taken and different paths I could have chosen.

 

Well, I am so used to being on my own now that I get so comfortable and wouldn’t want people near me at times. I also learn to speak up, let people know how I feel and reason/negotiate with them. Negotiation was one of the subjects we took for Bar but my forte was advocacy. Need to brush up on negotiation especially with being in business. As for binge eating, I don’t technically binge-eat but I do eat non-stop even in between meals nowadays. I have high metabolic rate. I’m still a size S and XS for US clothing, so I do take care of my fitness and outlook. Talking about that, I just had my exercise this evening and I loved it. It’s stretching, aerobics and mind clearing combined.

 

I began this post talking about my business website and I’m going to end it with that. It’s actually ready and all the essential pages are published. Do visit it at www.myleenterprise.com. It’s a great feeling when you achieve what you want to do and it’s great to fit in some personal time for exercise too.

 

I got that power.

 

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