It’s International Rabbit Day today. I just found out about this celebration this year. There are so many celebrations in the world.
If you have seen my Facebook and Instagram profiles as well as my profiles over at Myle Enterprise, you would notice that there is a soft toy that I always post up pictures or videos of. It’s called Carrots. It was given to me by a close expatriate friend a few years back when he was working in Penang, Malaysia.
I know it’s just a soft toy and I’m not delusional to think it’s a real rabbit or representing anyone, but I treat it like a companion. In a way it’s better than human – it doesn’t make noise, it moves when I want it to, I don’t have to feed it, it doesn’t dirty the place, I bring it out if I want and if I don’t want to, I just keep it at home. Besides, it makes a good object for me to take picture or video of especially when I don’t want to appear in the shots.
You might be wondering why a rabbit and not a dog or cat. I like cats and dogs too, actually. It all started with my time setting up my business. I always had a rabbit to accompany me then. I wouldn’t say it was the best time of my life with all rainbows and white picket fence kind of life. Having quit my job in a corporate environment and freelancing in creating gifts, it was a risky line not having a steady income back then. I didn’t feel it was risky back then because I had some savings from young and when I was working, I made it a habit to save up a portion of my income every month. Yes, I love money and I love to save since young.
Freelancing in gifts was something I needed to do to get my creativity back because I was so non-creative dealing with mainly documents during my work in the legal line. I also needed to try out and see if I can make it in business, so I freelanced in creating gifts before I officially registered my business in events. Events is my passion.
I hated my work environment where I was working in a legal department of a certain developer in Penang where my direct boss was just a fucking, sickening, immature person who cannot communicate well with people what more manage a department. Let me tell you a disgusting incident that took place before. I once walked over to his desk to talked about a document and I found him with his finger up his nose, digging like there was some gold mine in there while he was looking at documents. He kept his dirty finger in his nose the whole time he was talking to me. How disgusting ! You wouldn’t expect this kind of behaviour from someone running a legal department in a well-known development company.
I was told many people before me working in my department has left and I was the only one who could last 2 years there and yet he wanted to create a problem for me. I got my wish to get rid of him from my life though not in the way I wanted to but I am glad this person is totally out of my life. I had to dumb myself down and lower my IQ level just to deal with his man-ego. He was temperamental, like one minute gay-bitchy angry for no bloody reason and the next minute trying to be funny. I stayed in the job because I want to ensure I can last in a job and not job-hop but I feel it’s not worth it to make myself dumb so that a stupid man feels better. The salary was really miserable for someone with an overseas honours degree and with work experience. Some more this is not just a small company, it’s a corporate development company with many different companies and businesses registered under it. Kiam siap la (scrooge); make people do 10 man’s job, pay 1 person’s salary. It’s like running my own small business like that, except it’s not mine. I felt like I was dumber when I left. Thank gosh, I have been learning many things and keep learning these past few years after I left and I feel much smarter already. Ladies, never dumb yourself down just because your boss has man-ego. You can find a better job with better boss or you can make it on your own. He probably has a 1-inch dick and don’t feel good about himself. Men with short dick and bad attitude should just kill themselves especially if they are ugly.
The money saved up was worth it though because I can use it for something I want. I gave my parents allowances and paid my bills but I should have save that and started my business sooner. I was just too happy to throw my resignation letter to the company that I was just laughing my way out but I do know that I should have fought for my rights for I don’t like the way their HR was and how the company’s policy was in there. The dumb HR sent letters to me after I left which mentioned something about their rules. Send me in your next life, I already left your fucking stupid company, send me some more letters for what. Miss me, is it ? Don’t send me stupid letters that I can’t even bother to reply. Their HR wasn’t even from HR line and made many mistakes with their rules and policies.
I was just probably so glad not to be stuck in that place that I couldn’t be bothered to fight and can’t wait to get out. I’m really happy to now be working for myself and build something of my own. No matter how hard I worked or how much I have helped some people (for e.g. the CEO) in my previous company, there’s no use because there’s no appreciation and my salary doesn’t match the amount of work and time spent in that bloody company. I now have something I call my own and I won’t give up my business.
Aside from this, I also had very inconsiderate neighbours especially the idiotic family staying one floor above me. I hate them a lot. Hate is a very strong word but there’s no other word I can use to state how I feel. Imagine having a neighbour that makes loud thumping sounds as though dropping heavy and loud things on their floor a few times in an hour and the whole day and night even past midnight. Who the fuck in their right mind does that ? This idiotic family consist of a couple with 2 young children and an old lady. I politely asked the man if he heard any loud sounds or if his family were making this sounds but he denied and said that they were sleeping at night. The sound is actually the whole day throughout until past midnight and doesn’t stop. There was one day the sound was super loud and non-stop, so went to investigate the noise and found that this stupid family’s wife telling me that they were not making any sounds but their daughter was jumping in front of the TV while she was dancing. When I was at their front door, I saw their bloody stupid kid (the other one, who is a stupid boy aside from the stupid jumping-as-though-she-has-ants-in-her-butthole girl) shouting on top of his lungs for no bloody reason while the old lady just sat there and did nothing. The stupid boy got possessed by ghost, is it, shouting like his fucking dick is being pulled out of his shit bottom. Hello, is this family stupid or what ? The wife said they were not making any sound but admitted that her stupid kid was jumping in front of the TV. Does she not know that her kid jumping would results in the loud thumping sound ? It’s not only her lack in common sense or lack in brain cells that puts me off, it’s also how she said it with indignity as though she has the right to let her stupid kid jump and affect everyone. I saw her just standing there when I was walking towards their front door while her stupid kid was jumping. She said “You probably don’t have kids of your own”. Stupid bitch with one lazy eye and looks like she has cock-eyes that I don’t even know if she is looking at me when she’s talking to me or she’s looking at a non-existing person somewhere beside me. I don’t even like children or babies at this point in time and also at that time I was talking to her (this incident took place about 3 years ago), I just cannot be bothered to reply her. I find her too stupid to even be bothered to reply her. I should have just told her “Of course I don’t have kids, I don’t like them and if you cannot control or educate your kid properly, don’t poop them out of your stinking vag-hole”.
After that, their bloody barbarian of a father came out and said “I don’t like people at my door talking so loud”. Bloody shit of a barbarian baboon-fat-like-a hippo idiot, his stupid talking and his stupid family members’ talking are so loud that I can hear it from my window every day like as though they need to shout on top of their lungs to someone outside the building. Who the hell are they talking to everyday, so loud like the people in their unit are deaf, is it ? If they are deaf, then use sign language. Don’t shout like the whole neighbourhood needs to hear your daily talking. By the way, this brainless man is very fat (I wish he will die of obesity later), has long, curly, unruly hair which will make the homeless look like they have stylish hair because his hair is even worse than the homeless and he is not groomed at all. He can’t even afford a comb and a mirror. There’s a saying in Hokkien that if you don’t have a mirror, go pee on the floor and look at your reflection. He doesn’t know he looks like someone that came out of a jungle and probably is so not well-brought up that his fat fucking ungroomed self shows it so clearly. He’s definitely not well-brought up because his skinny-scrawny mother was just sitting there, doing nothing while his children were making so much noise. Plus his wife was just standing there doing nothing as well while he was hiding his fat-ass inside a room until much later after I was standing at his front door for some time. If these idiots are not well-brought and not taught manners, don’t even poop shit-kids out of your bloody wife’s vag-hole. You can’t teach them to behave properly and don’t do anything while you see them make so much noise, then don’t even have any stupid dumb kids. I cannot be bothered if your kids shout until their throat burst and they become mute (hallelujah !) if the noise doesn’t affect me and I cannot hear them at all. His mother is stick-thin, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t feed her and ate all her food, that’s why he’s so disgustingly fat. Someone give her the tele-dera phone number. This man told another neighbour staying here earlier this year that his family was moving to another state because apparently he was teaching at an institute/university. However, I see his bloody car and his fucking shit face still around all the time. Don’t lie, you think people are dumb and can’t see, is it ? Pretending like he’s so educated and it’s all lies. This kind of family should just fuck off from here, such nuisance. Then I get blamed for making noise instead of them. I don’t like to get blamed for something I didn’t do.
Anyway, with me not needing to go to a corporate job and slave my ass off from 8.30a.m. to 6p.m., I am mainly at home if I’m not out for appointments. That means I can hear all these noise the whole day and night. Previously there wasn’t this kind of noise when I was still working and the noise came about a few months after I stopped working. I’m not staying at a low-cost flat, mind you. I’m staying in a gated-community condominium. The walls here are made of bricks and cement. It’s not cheap wood. For those kind of noise to be heard and so loud, you can imagine the amount of strength put into making the sound. Who in their right mind would be throwing their stupid self or something so heavy every hour of the day and a few times a day ? Only stupid neighbours like mine who have stupid kids that jump and affect other people while their stupid guardians don’t know how to teach them. I’m not surprised if they purposely throw heavy things on the floor. How pathetic they are that they want to do that; they are just wasting their own time. *laughs at them*
I do know some places have very low quality building structure like some buildings I was staying at in United Kingdom. My first year there, I was staying in a student accommodation and the walls were made using chip-wood. It’s so thin and definitely not very sound-proof. It’s like your cubicle in the office and you know how thin the material is, for those who have cubicles at their work place. It was the best and most expensive student accommodation available at my university at that time. It was en-suite and it wasn’t cheap where the rent was about GBP95 per week. The cheapest student accommodation rental was about GBP45 back then and some other student accommodations had better building structure (cement and brick) eventhough it was cheaper but they had to share bathroom. No, thanks. The one I stayed at consists of 4 en-suite rooms in the unit with one kitchen and common space to be shared. They call it a flat though it’s not like the flats in Malaysia.
I was staying at the highest level at the student accommodation, so it didn’t bother me about any sound above me as I was on top and logically, I know couldn’t be anyone making any sound. However, there was still very loud howling when the wind blows and I could hear the building creaking. The wind was super strong in Newcastle-upon-Tyne and if the building gets blown away, it’s not surprising but what’s surprising is how the building manage to stay put even with such low quality materials. The walls were so thin and again, there was an inconsiderate neighbour where her door holder was broken so whenever she goes in and out of her room, her door slams. She can’t even have the decency to slowly open and close her door but just lets it slam so hard that all our other doors nearby will shake whenever that happens. My neighbours from Taiwan will always complain to me about that as this inconsiderate woman is from Malaysia. Putting our Malaysian name to a shame. I got along well with my Taiwanese neighbours and luckily they know not all Malaysians are so inconsiderate. Only those with brains missing – same category of stupid as my current neighbours staying one floor above. I wish all these inconsiderate idiots would just fuck off from the earth. They are just taking up oxygen in the world.
That same stupid inconsiderate woman also once had her friends over to take some magic shroom and they were making so much noise in her room, falling around, shouting and making the walls shake (as mentioned, the walls are as thin). She was also super busy-body and was always poking her nose into my business and personal matters. I had many guys going after me back in University, from Asian Chinese, Indian, Malay to Western European, Chinese, Middle-East and Africans. They would sometimes come to visit me. So many choices and I made a bad choice of choosing a useless, immature, irresponsible, stingy boyfriend whom I called “the one” but definitely was not “the one” at all. I’m so glad I’m wide awake in terms of relationship now and can see clearly how some idiots were just now worth my time at all. What a waste of my time, energy and money spent on some of them. There were so many quality choices of overseas graduates from good family background with good attitude who became professionals like lawyers, doctors and some set up their own business or went into entrepreneurship. I even wasted my time dwelling on that useless person that I didn’t try harder for the other relationships that came after that, whom some might have made better partners in a relationship. I’m glad I have all that put away and I now have a better relationship to focus on, which is my business. Perhaps, one day I’ll look into human-love relationship again apart from current family relationship and business.
Back to the story of my flatmate during my first year in Uni. Once an Indian man came to bring me flowers and this busy-body was cooking in the kitchen but she was eavesdropping and peeped. When the Indian man left the door after a quick chat, she quickly came beside me and gave me a hug. Then she said “I’m so happy to be your flat mate”. I asked her what she meant by that. She said it’s because she got to see all those situations and visits by all the different people. She thinks my life is a story for her is it ? Bitch. There’s more to my life than just that.
She also booked my room when the tenancy term ended because her parents were coming over to stay so I couldn’t extend the tenancy if I wanted to and she lied that the room was booked by my Taiwanese neighbour. The truth surfaced of course and what a liar she was. What’s the point of lying when she can just tell that she wanted to book the room. The worse was when she played water fight in the accommodation and caused the whole place to be flooded until the accommodation management had to shut down the electricity for a few days and caused all of us to have to find another place to stay at. We all managed to find alternative accommodation. We should have charged that idiot for accommodation fees as all of us were paying for our own accommodation and she caused us to have to find another place to stay. I should have chosen the single unit en-suite accommodation which was slightly more expensive but I don’t need to share the bathroom, kitchen or common space with anyone. My Dad actually gave me the liberty to choose my own accommodation and he said doesn’t matter about the pricing. I thought of saving his money a bit by taking the less expensive but still better option but I regret it. It was an unhappy year in terms of stay. I would rather be happy and since money wasn’t an issue, I should have taken what would have made me happy. This is one example of making a wrong decision. The other accommodations I stayed at after that year in UK were not too good as well as the flooring between levels were bad and you can hear clearly idiots who can’t walk quietly or close their doors quietly (so annoying). I found out some buildings were better built with better materials and didn’t have these kind of noises. Most importantly, I cannot share a place with idiots who make noise like walking too loud, banging their doors, cannot grease their bloody door and it creaks or even talk too loud. People next door don’t need to hear what you’re saying or doing, you know. Why don’t you announce your bank name, bank account number and PIN number, so we can just go get some money.
Another wrong decision was to choose a video camera instead of a digital camera to bring to U.K. The pixels for pictures from a video camera is of very low resolution making pictures super blur. I could also take videos with digi-cam, so it would have been a better option to choose the digi-cam. Well, we make wrong choices and mistakes throughout our lives. As much as there may be regrets, I don’t live my life just regretting and instead I move on. I learn as I age and these are wisdom lessons I will always remember.
As you can see, it wasn’t an easy journey for me during my business set up, with uncertainty of income and also changes to my lifestyle. It also didn’t help that not everyone understands what I was going through and not everyone was supportive. I was someone who liked shopping and always bought new clothes to attend different parties and events. With my decision to go into business, I had to cut down on shopping, which I managed to and mainly shop for essentials like health supplements and needed groceries. I used to always be out and about – going to different restaurants to dine, clubs, pubs or lounge to drink and party, cinemas to watch movies and I used to know every shop in most of the Penang malls (like a walking mall directory). Now I don’t even remember where is a particular shop in the mall is and will most likely Google it. I had to cut down on going out and save up money and also put my time into my business set up. Was it worth it ? Yes ! I just need to balance my business and life. I can’t be too much of a scrooge when it comes to my health especially with taking better supplements or using better products. I tried using cheaper commercial range products but it was a disaster towards my health and skin. Cheaper products mainly have fragrance as one of the ingredients which is a no for my skin. I can’t help it that I’m born with expensive skin. I need to work towards making more to sustain my health and ensure good skin condition. Other things I can cut down like shopping for clothes, shoes, bags and accessories but I cannot skimp on health supplements and products. The amount of energy, time and money spent to heal my health and skin costs even more than if I were to use good products in the first place.
I am balancing my life and learning what works for me and what not. I cannot be put into a dirty, noisy, poor condition or live my life like a poor person with just bread and water and bathing with just water. I wouldn’t want to go down that path and so I must make sure I work towards improving my business income. I’m someone who have grown up liking to groom and style myself, so whenever I feel like I am slacking in grooming, I need to make myself beautiful again and I feel better.
With all these changes, I had to find something to do apart from just business. I found the pleasure in playing with the pet rabbit that used to be in my place, which was called Happy (later on they started calling her Baby). I called her Cutie Pie. It belonged to my sister but it was the family pet because everyone took care of it and played with it in one way or another.
I didn’t just play with her, I took care of her. I bathed her, cut her nails, cut her fur and groomed her. She likes to eat certain types of leaves, so I’ll take some and feed her. Her staple food is dry rabbit pellets which my sister buys and my Dad feeds her. My Dad will also cut up vegetables for her to eat and when my Mum cuts carrots (which she loves a lot), I will take some and put in her eating bowl. She also likes apples. Most importantly, I release her from her cage and make sure she gets her freedom everyday. I feel animals and humans shouldn’t be caged up in a small space with restrictions.
I release her to the balcony which has potted plants, so she gets good shade from the sun and it won’t be too hot for her. She also gets to choose which leaves she wants to eat from the plants. It’s her garden of joy and she sleeps like a boss there. Sometimes I take her swimming and bathe her after that, so she gets to dry herself up in the sun by the swimming pool. She looked happy to be exploring the trees by the pool and when she gets tired, she will lounge in the shade by the poolside while I continue swimming. Later on, I couldn’t take her to the pool anymore because there was a monitor lizard seen around and my sister said it’s dangerous in case Cutie Pie gets eaten up. I was always looking at Cutie Pie to ensure she’s safe even while I was swimming or doing my things, so there wouldn’t be a chance to the monitor lizard to come near to us. I would have preferred to have my own pet so that I can make the decision on my own.
I’ll also put her beside me when I do my work where she will sometimes sleep on a pillow that I put beneath her. Sometimes she will sleep on my lap.
Having a pet like Cutie Pie actually gave me someone or something to care for and love when you can’t find yourself loving anyone. Being single (even though I always say I’m married to my business) and it’s not all the time that your family member or friends are with you, so having a pet helps to let you give your love to someone. When you are in business or you are an entrepreneur, not everyone is always supportive of what you do but you stick to your own decision because you believe it is correct for you. Having a pet helps to release my stress because I can find a place to pour my feelings out. I can talk to my pet and even though it cannot answer, at least I can express myself. Sometimes we need to just let our feelings and thoughts out to feel better.
Having a pet also let me take my mind off my business for a while when I play with. My mind is always on my business 24/7 especially during the beginning of the business set up and sometimes it can overheat. When I play with Cutie Pie, my mood gets uplifted and I can then return to my work happy. I can see solutions at a new perspective and with better mood, I can communicate with people on a better level.
When I take care of Cutie Pie, like bathe her, it brings out my sense of responsibility. This is good for nurturing responsibility, which is important if you want to own a business. I don’t believe in running a business without responsibility because without the sense of responsibility, you cannot grow a business. You’ll just leave it halfway especially when the going gets tough. Running a business is not easy and sometimes it is very tough but you just keep on going. If it’s what you want, then go after it regardless of what people tell you. Of course, don’t just go after something for the sake of going after it. Do it if it’s worth it and after you have weigh the pros and cons. Business is not about taking blind risk. It’s about talking calculated risk. There’s a saying “tough times don’t last but tough people do”.
Having a pet is like having a business, you don’t just play with it and let it go. You need to take care of it, nurture it, feed it, groom it, play with it and it will bring you lasting joy.
Cutie Pie is no longer with us now as she was suffering from a tumour in one of her legs and she was euthanized. She will always be loved by my family. I will always remember the memories with her and how she has made me so happy when I was going through such a tough time in my life with so many changes. People and animals will come and go, as they will die one day, we have to come to accept that but Cutie Pie will live on in our memories. I now have Carrots to bring around with me. I know it’s a soft toy, I say again, and I can get used to not having it with me at all, but it’s a companion, nonetheless.